How many times have you wanted to beat your head against the wall when a relationship failed? “What am I doing wrong,” runs through your mind!
I am sure it’s not until you get a little wiser and older when you finally understand that every relationship you had was doomed to fail because you overlooked a few things. It was those things that always took you from dating bliss to a relationship horror story!
It’s not that there are certain steps you must follow as much as knowing what they are and how to use them to benefit you! Specifically, are you aware of the proper dating etiquette that should be followed if you desire to have a happy relationship or marriage?
During my campus days, my friends and I would talk for hours about life and relationships. Somehow we figured out what worked and didn’t work. Many times we wanted to kick ourselves for being so darn stupid!
We realized, as you soon will, that relationships are easy when you enter into them with your eyes and ears wide open and leave the feelings at the door.
I guess you can call my friends and I traditional or old fashioned. However, what I can tell you is we had fewer problems in our lives as a result of following a process or certain traditional dating rules!
Anyhow what I can say is, “if you are sick and tired of getting involved in relationships that do not work then following the traditional dating rules process will help you to finally end up in a happy relationship”.
There are really one very important aspects to the “dating” that is the “how” and the “what” In other words, if you don’t understand how to carry on a conversation that creates attraction, then it really won’t matter what you talk about…because the woman you’re talking to won’t feel anything towards you.
The how of conversation includes but, is not limited to; your body language, eye contact, the funny style of communicating, flirting, sending mixed messages, directing the conversation and dealing with common questions and topics.
With that said, there are several topics that are great to discuss with women and for whatever reason, women tend to love drama, conflict, romance, famous people and their lives.
So it’s really quite easy to enjoy a dating with a woman about these topics. Say you are in a restaurant. Look around you, find a couple sitting at a table that looks like they’re on their first date.
Then, start making fun of how the guy is acting, how he’s dressed, his posture, or whatever. Talk about how the woman is thinking that he’s a fala and how he’s not getting any, no matter how many compliments he gives her.
Analyzing what’s going on with a close group of others is big fun, and women love it. Talk about the problems that others are going through when it comes to love and romance, then volunteer completely ridiculous theories about what’s going on.
Mention a friend you had who broke up with his girlfriend because she gained weight, then after. You’ve told the story; make up a random theory about how women who gain weight are actually lesbians. But, make sure whatever you invent is funny.
The point here is that women are naturally fascinated and drawn to certain topics... So use them. The real benefit of talking to women about topics that really interest them is that you can use all the other ideas that you’re learning while you’re talking! Topics to avoid; rape, kidnapping, stalking, death, chess, computers, your secret love and wrestling.
Never talk about topics that might really freak a woman out or topics that make you look like the biggest loser alive, especially in the beginning.
You’ll create bad vibes that will make any attraction that you’ve created instantly disappear. Others to really avoid include talking negatively about yourself, talking about how desperate you are or how long it’s been since you’ve been on a date, asking if she likes you or if you’re her “type” that makes you look insecure and needy.
Remember, the key to success with women is creating a powerful emotional attraction between you and her. If you don’t know how to do this, then nothing you do is going to help you very much.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
HAVE YOU WRITTEN A LOVE LETTER LATELY?
Communication is a word we hear often when people talk about improving relationships. We receive lots from every corner of our lives namely e-mail, radio, postal mail, telephone, television, cell phones and more every year.
A lot of people I speak to think they can’t escape contact with those around them. They feel that they do a pretty good job of interacting with others, especially when they have all the fancy, high-tech communication tools.
But it’s the quality of the communication that makes the most difference, not necessarily the quantity or speed of delivery. If you say the same thing, in the same way, over and over every day, your loved ones can become inured to it.
One of the most powerful and sincerest forms of communication that we see very little of today is letter writing. I am not talking about e-mail or post-its. I mean a real letter that is written on real paper and dropped in the non-virtual mailbox down the street.
E-mail is easily written and often curt. Since it’s meant to allow quick and easy communication, we often send messages without careful consideration.
Cutsie e-cards. They let someone know you are thinking about them and many times they may make them laugh but in general, e-cards are not an effective delivery system for deep communication.
And the phone? When you make a phone call you and the person you are talking to can both be doing a handful of other things at the same time, and as a result this form of verbal communication can be poorly thought out and impulsive.
Greeting cards do not count unless the sender has enclosed a substantial personal note which is rare. The greeting card industry has capitalized quite successfully on our inability to write from our own hearts, either due to lack of time or a perceived lack of creativity.
Why is it that we need to buy our heartfelt sentiments in sterile, prepackaged form? A letter, even a short one, can be symbolic of dedication. It shows commitment because it takes a little more time and care to organize ones thoughts and put them on paper.
In addition, the written word is permanent and physical, two things that are a big part of committed relationships. It is a lot harder to deny what we have written than it is to deny what we’ve said.
For instance, if you say you are sorry to someone verbally you can equivocate and feel the person out so that you can alter your message depending on how you think things are going.
Most people see through duplicity and equivocation in written form immediately. A letter forces you to state your feelings with permanence and, if you are practiced and take your time, clarity.
The writing of a letter also provides the opportunity to surprise someone. Place it in a location where they will find it at an unusual moment. This is also much more romantic than just handing someone note or sending them an e-mail.
In fact, if you are in a long distance relationship and normally correspond by e-mail every day, it will be a big and welcome surprise for your partner to get some real mail.
There is one caveat. Do not use writing as a way of avoiding confrontation or inflicting pain. The "Dear John" letter is a prime example. Remember that just as the written word has the power to spread love, it can also do damage to a relationship.
You can even write letters to communicate deep feelings that you may not be able to speak of effectively in person at the appropriate time either because you are unavailable or because you do not remember the exact feeling you had at the time.
Here is a great idea that I got from a book by Mark and Dianne Button called, “The Letter Box: A Story of Enduring Love.” The authors suggest that you write letters to your loved ones at important times in their lives and keep the letters tucked away in a small box for your loved ones to open at a later date.
For instance, you can write a letter to your child on the day of his birth describing all the joy you are experiencing and what it is like to hold him for the first time. You give this to him when he are 30 years old or perhaps on the occasion of the birth or his first child. Now that's something you can't do with an e-mail!
Take the time to try this. Commit right now to write your partner or a loved one a personal note expressing your positive feelings toward them. If a letter is too daunting, then write a couple sentences. If that is too scary, then try just a few words.
Just say what you feel, no matter how simple or silly. Have faith that it will make their day. Put your letter to them where they will find it unexpectedly or mail it though the regular mail.
I can guarantee that you will receive a positive response from them. Unlike words that are spoken and then only a memory, a letter can be reread and experienced over and over. By taking the time to express your love in a permanent and clear form, you will are recommitting to your loved one and to the vitality of your relationship with them.
A lot of people I speak to think they can’t escape contact with those around them. They feel that they do a pretty good job of interacting with others, especially when they have all the fancy, high-tech communication tools.
But it’s the quality of the communication that makes the most difference, not necessarily the quantity or speed of delivery. If you say the same thing, in the same way, over and over every day, your loved ones can become inured to it.
One of the most powerful and sincerest forms of communication that we see very little of today is letter writing. I am not talking about e-mail or post-its. I mean a real letter that is written on real paper and dropped in the non-virtual mailbox down the street.
E-mail is easily written and often curt. Since it’s meant to allow quick and easy communication, we often send messages without careful consideration.
Cutsie e-cards. They let someone know you are thinking about them and many times they may make them laugh but in general, e-cards are not an effective delivery system for deep communication.
And the phone? When you make a phone call you and the person you are talking to can both be doing a handful of other things at the same time, and as a result this form of verbal communication can be poorly thought out and impulsive.
Greeting cards do not count unless the sender has enclosed a substantial personal note which is rare. The greeting card industry has capitalized quite successfully on our inability to write from our own hearts, either due to lack of time or a perceived lack of creativity.
Why is it that we need to buy our heartfelt sentiments in sterile, prepackaged form? A letter, even a short one, can be symbolic of dedication. It shows commitment because it takes a little more time and care to organize ones thoughts and put them on paper.
In addition, the written word is permanent and physical, two things that are a big part of committed relationships. It is a lot harder to deny what we have written than it is to deny what we’ve said.
For instance, if you say you are sorry to someone verbally you can equivocate and feel the person out so that you can alter your message depending on how you think things are going.
Most people see through duplicity and equivocation in written form immediately. A letter forces you to state your feelings with permanence and, if you are practiced and take your time, clarity.
The writing of a letter also provides the opportunity to surprise someone. Place it in a location where they will find it at an unusual moment. This is also much more romantic than just handing someone note or sending them an e-mail.
In fact, if you are in a long distance relationship and normally correspond by e-mail every day, it will be a big and welcome surprise for your partner to get some real mail.
There is one caveat. Do not use writing as a way of avoiding confrontation or inflicting pain. The "Dear John" letter is a prime example. Remember that just as the written word has the power to spread love, it can also do damage to a relationship.
You can even write letters to communicate deep feelings that you may not be able to speak of effectively in person at the appropriate time either because you are unavailable or because you do not remember the exact feeling you had at the time.
Here is a great idea that I got from a book by Mark and Dianne Button called, “The Letter Box: A Story of Enduring Love.” The authors suggest that you write letters to your loved ones at important times in their lives and keep the letters tucked away in a small box for your loved ones to open at a later date.
For instance, you can write a letter to your child on the day of his birth describing all the joy you are experiencing and what it is like to hold him for the first time. You give this to him when he are 30 years old or perhaps on the occasion of the birth or his first child. Now that's something you can't do with an e-mail!
Take the time to try this. Commit right now to write your partner or a loved one a personal note expressing your positive feelings toward them. If a letter is too daunting, then write a couple sentences. If that is too scary, then try just a few words.
Just say what you feel, no matter how simple or silly. Have faith that it will make their day. Put your letter to them where they will find it unexpectedly or mail it though the regular mail.
I can guarantee that you will receive a positive response from them. Unlike words that are spoken and then only a memory, a letter can be reread and experienced over and over. By taking the time to express your love in a permanent and clear form, you will are recommitting to your loved one and to the vitality of your relationship with them.
Men Revise Your Notes!!!
A couple of moths ago an intro read on the Uganda Observer newspaper, men do not enjoy spending their money on women. Repeat after me. Men don’t enjoy spending their money on women. The only reason men spend on women is because its means to an end, wow!
And another caption wrote, if indeed, spending on a woman is all about sex, then perhaps the men should be a bit clearer about the terms of trade. Unfortunately, it isn’t
The later seems to suggest that the core reason for a man to splurge on a woman is to get laid in return. Nathan! Why do you want the world to think that for a man to squeeze booty out of Angela he has splash dime.
Behave like real men who can squeeze water out of a rock. Real men are those who are mean but humorous. Mean in the sense that he will use just a bottle of soda or cup of coffee to get a woman nod yes without necessarily splashing money.
Real men are normally unpredictable, don’t tell lies but only exploit every situation to their advantage. Such men will lay their traps here and continue to hunt here.
They are not these ordinary players being denounced in this era but hunters’ women tight mark and such guys are beneficiaries of your philanthropic lifestyle.
But! You are not at a disadvantage either; you can try some hotels around town Sports View in Kireka among others.
Am told the hotel has quiet a number of romantic door with a mixture of light, wood, steel and glass. Snoops say the drink selection is excellent and the services are always fine.
Infact if you are this guy who expects to be laid in return for a sumptuous date; these are the places to go. Mbu the entrance you will be greeted with words like hullo handsome, need company? You are assured of a great night!
Anyhow, the problem with us men is that we have been eaten by this vice of buying out women. We have been spoilt to think that the ideal world is the real one. That when Hollywood shots a fiction money Talks we want to think it is the real way to go about in the dating world.
That is bad manners you must stop because its an insult to the entire male kingdom. Its true women in reality are not independent but neither are men. Even though we know that Beyounce champion of independent women is not independent because Jay Z has to pay for those expensive vacations in Vegas but so is they JZ otherwise he would go to Vegas without her or any other woman.
Therefore, regardless of how rich a woman is, we cannot take away their expectation of being treated and so are men treating them. In the sense that if he doesn’t do so, life is meaningless.
This explains why some men you refer to as shuts will dine with women with no expectation at all to get laid. However, there are a lot you can gain from a date other than just chasing for the obvious. Look out for the following; natural intellect, ambition, creativity and career.
The purpose of this is to find out how her constant presence in your life will influence your direction of thought as well as enhance your image down the road.
On the other hand, you can bet me on this, women like to identify with men who are progressive or hold status in society. They also love to be part or associated with their male counterpart rise in society and not to be labelled gold diggers.
That is why first ladies will stick to their marriages even when its at the brink of collapsing because they suffered tooth and nail to see their hubbies there.
This explains why a woman will easily walk out a life a super star like Thierry Henry as though the big contract he was offered at Barcelona FC was totally an insult. So! Where is the illusion that money talks or does it just aid events.
And another caption wrote, if indeed, spending on a woman is all about sex, then perhaps the men should be a bit clearer about the terms of trade. Unfortunately, it isn’t
The later seems to suggest that the core reason for a man to splurge on a woman is to get laid in return. Nathan! Why do you want the world to think that for a man to squeeze booty out of Angela he has splash dime.
Behave like real men who can squeeze water out of a rock. Real men are those who are mean but humorous. Mean in the sense that he will use just a bottle of soda or cup of coffee to get a woman nod yes without necessarily splashing money.
Real men are normally unpredictable, don’t tell lies but only exploit every situation to their advantage. Such men will lay their traps here and continue to hunt here.
They are not these ordinary players being denounced in this era but hunters’ women tight mark and such guys are beneficiaries of your philanthropic lifestyle.
But! You are not at a disadvantage either; you can try some hotels around town Sports View in Kireka among others.
Am told the hotel has quiet a number of romantic door with a mixture of light, wood, steel and glass. Snoops say the drink selection is excellent and the services are always fine.
Infact if you are this guy who expects to be laid in return for a sumptuous date; these are the places to go. Mbu the entrance you will be greeted with words like hullo handsome, need company? You are assured of a great night!
Anyhow, the problem with us men is that we have been eaten by this vice of buying out women. We have been spoilt to think that the ideal world is the real one. That when Hollywood shots a fiction money Talks we want to think it is the real way to go about in the dating world.
That is bad manners you must stop because its an insult to the entire male kingdom. Its true women in reality are not independent but neither are men. Even though we know that Beyounce champion of independent women is not independent because Jay Z has to pay for those expensive vacations in Vegas but so is they JZ otherwise he would go to Vegas without her or any other woman.
Therefore, regardless of how rich a woman is, we cannot take away their expectation of being treated and so are men treating them. In the sense that if he doesn’t do so, life is meaningless.
This explains why some men you refer to as shuts will dine with women with no expectation at all to get laid. However, there are a lot you can gain from a date other than just chasing for the obvious. Look out for the following; natural intellect, ambition, creativity and career.
The purpose of this is to find out how her constant presence in your life will influence your direction of thought as well as enhance your image down the road.
On the other hand, you can bet me on this, women like to identify with men who are progressive or hold status in society. They also love to be part or associated with their male counterpart rise in society and not to be labelled gold diggers.
That is why first ladies will stick to their marriages even when its at the brink of collapsing because they suffered tooth and nail to see their hubbies there.
This explains why a woman will easily walk out a life a super star like Thierry Henry as though the big contract he was offered at Barcelona FC was totally an insult. So! Where is the illusion that money talks or does it just aid events.
HOW TO KEEP MEN AROUND
I recently read a bar line in this paper “where have all the men gone”, the author slightly but carefully summed it “The answer lies in how attraction between sexes actually happens”.
I am sure it is not until the girls got a little wiser than they will finally understand that every man you see is doomed to run because you overlook a few things and those things always toke you from dating bliss to a relationship horror story.
In our campus days, my friends and I would talk for hours about women. Somehow, we figured out what worked and did not work. Many times, we wanted to kick ourselves for being so stupid!
We realized, as you soon will, that relationships are easy when you enter into them with your eyes and ears wide open and leave the feelings at the door.
It is New Year, if you are sick and tired of getting involved in unhappy relationships then following the traditional rules will help you to finally end your spree.
There is really one very important aspect to keeping men around you that is the “how” and the “what” In other words, if you do not understand how to carry on a conversation that creates attraction, then it really won’t matter what you talk about because the man you are talking to will not feel anything towards you.
The how of conversation includes but, is not limited to; your body language, eye contact, the funny style of communicating, flirting, sending mixed messages, directing the conversation and dealing with common questions and topics.
With that said, there are several topics that are great to discuss with you and for whatever reason, men tend not to love drama, conflict, romance, famous people and their lives.
Therefore, it is really quite easy to enjoy a dating with a man about these topics if you have substantial influence over what to talk about. Analyzing what is going on within a social environment is big fun and men love it.
Talking about problems that others are going through when it comes to love and romance matters, know it that it is not cheap gossip for men too. Mentioning a friend you had who broke up with his boyfriend does not cost you a much because discussing why they actually broke will help you even further build fences against possible detractors.
The point here is that men are naturally fascinated and drawn to certain topics so use them. The real benefit of talking to men about such topics that really interest them is that you can use all the other ideas that you are learning while you are talking! Avoid topic that relate to stalking, football, or your secret love.
Never talk about topics that might really freak a man out or topics that make you look like the biggest loser alive, especially in the beginning. You will create bad vibes that will make any attraction that you have created instantly disappear.
Others to really avoid include talking negatively about yourself, talking about how desperate you are or how long it has been since you last had a date, asking if he likes you or if your are his type makes you look insecure and needy.
Remember, the key to success with men is creating a powerful emotional attraction between you and him not being seductive. If you do not know how to do this, then nothing you do is going to help you bring back these fugitives.
I am sure it is not until the girls got a little wiser than they will finally understand that every man you see is doomed to run because you overlook a few things and those things always toke you from dating bliss to a relationship horror story.
In our campus days, my friends and I would talk for hours about women. Somehow, we figured out what worked and did not work. Many times, we wanted to kick ourselves for being so stupid!
We realized, as you soon will, that relationships are easy when you enter into them with your eyes and ears wide open and leave the feelings at the door.
It is New Year, if you are sick and tired of getting involved in unhappy relationships then following the traditional rules will help you to finally end your spree.
There is really one very important aspect to keeping men around you that is the “how” and the “what” In other words, if you do not understand how to carry on a conversation that creates attraction, then it really won’t matter what you talk about because the man you are talking to will not feel anything towards you.
The how of conversation includes but, is not limited to; your body language, eye contact, the funny style of communicating, flirting, sending mixed messages, directing the conversation and dealing with common questions and topics.
With that said, there are several topics that are great to discuss with you and for whatever reason, men tend not to love drama, conflict, romance, famous people and their lives.
Therefore, it is really quite easy to enjoy a dating with a man about these topics if you have substantial influence over what to talk about. Analyzing what is going on within a social environment is big fun and men love it.
Talking about problems that others are going through when it comes to love and romance matters, know it that it is not cheap gossip for men too. Mentioning a friend you had who broke up with his boyfriend does not cost you a much because discussing why they actually broke will help you even further build fences against possible detractors.
The point here is that men are naturally fascinated and drawn to certain topics so use them. The real benefit of talking to men about such topics that really interest them is that you can use all the other ideas that you are learning while you are talking! Avoid topic that relate to stalking, football, or your secret love.
Never talk about topics that might really freak a man out or topics that make you look like the biggest loser alive, especially in the beginning. You will create bad vibes that will make any attraction that you have created instantly disappear.
Others to really avoid include talking negatively about yourself, talking about how desperate you are or how long it has been since you last had a date, asking if he likes you or if your are his type makes you look insecure and needy.
Remember, the key to success with men is creating a powerful emotional attraction between you and him not being seductive. If you do not know how to do this, then nothing you do is going to help you bring back these fugitives.
LIVING YOURSELF A HAPPIER 2008.
Happy people are the players and unhappy people are the spectators, which one would you like to be? Much of tomorrow’s happiness will depend upon how happy you are today; the question is what seeds of happiness are you planting right now?
Create more time to enjoy that mysterious and unpredictable phenomenon life, minimize your search for secret to it, wiser people than you and I have tried without much success.
Happiness seems not to like people who are desperate for it. Desperate pursuit for happiness is one of the chief causes of unhappiness. So, stop trying so hard to be happy and let the good times roll.
Allow yourself to give up those things that may not make you unhappy, oddly enough they are not always the easiest things to give up. Understand that a want is not a need, all your needs have been satisfied since birth otherwise you would not be alive right now.
As William Shakespeare said “we ignorant of ourselves, beg often our own harms which the wise powers deny us for our own good”.
A happy life isn’t absence of unhappiness; unhappiness will sneak into your life whether you want it or not, so will happiness.
Always remember happiness is woven around a healthy social life; hang around happy people and avoid unhappy people, fall in love with happy people and only many who are happy people.
The best way to avoid happiness is to become responsible for someone else’s ahead of yours. Don’t spend your time trying to make an unhappy person happy, near as I can tell, you have to be a magician to pull it over.
Don’t waste time offering advise, you will either loose or break even. If the advice turns out bad, the person will be angry at you, if the advice is good, the person will forget that you gave it to them.
As Harvey Mackay wrote, “if you want to be a Santa Clause, your sled better be able to pull a trailer”.
Spend not much time on earth judging people, it’s tedious and won’t make you happy, besides, it is God’s work. When someone or something puzzles you, smile, misery doesn’t only love company, it demands it. For this reason, don’t walk away from negative people, run!
It also takes energy and precious time to argue with unreasonable people, ask yourself what the pay off is. Again don’t waste time trying to justify yourself to your critics, know it that any fool can criticize and must do.
Being liked by everyone is impossible thus stick to being yourself and not anyone else. Waiting can be hard work and down right defeating, instead of waiting for the phone to ring, call someone else!
Be good to others but don’t expect a lot of gratitude. In this world, remember that good things are seldom remembered and bad deeds are seldom forgotten.
Getting upset at someone’s rudeness drains you of power, how much you are wronged depends on how much you care and the energy you put remembering it. Next time someone says something nasty to you, agree with them, this way there won’t be an argument.
The severity of your problem is a matter of perspective, change you perspective and most of them will become insignificant. The Chinese say “if your house burns down, at least you can now see the moon”.
Understand that today’s crisis makes tomorrow an interesting story. So why don’t you look at life as an adventure instead of a burden?
A simple life is a happy life, learn to identify the unimportant and you will find out that life is a breeze, to conquer unhappiness; you must put it at risk because too much of safety is dangerous.
It’s important to love yourself even more than your mother does no matter what others say or think about you, not only enjoy solitude; seek it, love yourself while getting to know yourself better.
Most people will agree at some level that money can’t buy happiness but deep down they haven’t accepted. Regardless of how old you are, you will show wisdom beyond your age when you truly accept that money can not buy contentment and peace of mind.
Within yourself is a paradise you have been looking for where you will find all the happiness you will ever need, “it is so, it can not be otherwise” says an inscription in the Cathedral of Amsterdam.
Therefore, as far as possible without surrender, be a kind, gentle, generous and loving person, share whatever happiness you experience throughout this year with others, in this way you will multiply all the happiness that comes into your life.
Lastly, enjoy each day as if it were your last day because it just may be, with this in mind, don’t spend time searching for the happy moment, you are that happy moment, Happy New Year and wish you a prosperous 2008.
Create more time to enjoy that mysterious and unpredictable phenomenon life, minimize your search for secret to it, wiser people than you and I have tried without much success.
Happiness seems not to like people who are desperate for it. Desperate pursuit for happiness is one of the chief causes of unhappiness. So, stop trying so hard to be happy and let the good times roll.
Allow yourself to give up those things that may not make you unhappy, oddly enough they are not always the easiest things to give up. Understand that a want is not a need, all your needs have been satisfied since birth otherwise you would not be alive right now.
As William Shakespeare said “we ignorant of ourselves, beg often our own harms which the wise powers deny us for our own good”.
A happy life isn’t absence of unhappiness; unhappiness will sneak into your life whether you want it or not, so will happiness.
Always remember happiness is woven around a healthy social life; hang around happy people and avoid unhappy people, fall in love with happy people and only many who are happy people.
The best way to avoid happiness is to become responsible for someone else’s ahead of yours. Don’t spend your time trying to make an unhappy person happy, near as I can tell, you have to be a magician to pull it over.
Don’t waste time offering advise, you will either loose or break even. If the advice turns out bad, the person will be angry at you, if the advice is good, the person will forget that you gave it to them.
As Harvey Mackay wrote, “if you want to be a Santa Clause, your sled better be able to pull a trailer”.
Spend not much time on earth judging people, it’s tedious and won’t make you happy, besides, it is God’s work. When someone or something puzzles you, smile, misery doesn’t only love company, it demands it. For this reason, don’t walk away from negative people, run!
It also takes energy and precious time to argue with unreasonable people, ask yourself what the pay off is. Again don’t waste time trying to justify yourself to your critics, know it that any fool can criticize and must do.
Being liked by everyone is impossible thus stick to being yourself and not anyone else. Waiting can be hard work and down right defeating, instead of waiting for the phone to ring, call someone else!
Be good to others but don’t expect a lot of gratitude. In this world, remember that good things are seldom remembered and bad deeds are seldom forgotten.
Getting upset at someone’s rudeness drains you of power, how much you are wronged depends on how much you care and the energy you put remembering it. Next time someone says something nasty to you, agree with them, this way there won’t be an argument.
The severity of your problem is a matter of perspective, change you perspective and most of them will become insignificant. The Chinese say “if your house burns down, at least you can now see the moon”.
Understand that today’s crisis makes tomorrow an interesting story. So why don’t you look at life as an adventure instead of a burden?
A simple life is a happy life, learn to identify the unimportant and you will find out that life is a breeze, to conquer unhappiness; you must put it at risk because too much of safety is dangerous.
It’s important to love yourself even more than your mother does no matter what others say or think about you, not only enjoy solitude; seek it, love yourself while getting to know yourself better.
Most people will agree at some level that money can’t buy happiness but deep down they haven’t accepted. Regardless of how old you are, you will show wisdom beyond your age when you truly accept that money can not buy contentment and peace of mind.
Within yourself is a paradise you have been looking for where you will find all the happiness you will ever need, “it is so, it can not be otherwise” says an inscription in the Cathedral of Amsterdam.
Therefore, as far as possible without surrender, be a kind, gentle, generous and loving person, share whatever happiness you experience throughout this year with others, in this way you will multiply all the happiness that comes into your life.
Lastly, enjoy each day as if it were your last day because it just may be, with this in mind, don’t spend time searching for the happy moment, you are that happy moment, Happy New Year and wish you a prosperous 2008.
FOUR MOST COMMON INTERVIEW QUESTIONS
There are some questions that will usually pop up during almost every job interview. The bad news is that these questions can be quite difficult to answer but the good news is because they are so common; you can prepare for them well in advance and give a perfect answer.
Q. Tells us a little about yourself?
A. This question is not an invitation to talk about your difficult childhood or how you won class competition in high school. Instead, it is a request for you to describe what you can offer the company.
According to Ron Fry in his book 101 Great Answers to the Toughest Interview Questions, he suggests that interviewees need to focus on key accomplishments at previous jobs, the strengths demonstrated by those accomplishments and how they relate to the job for which they are applying.
He adds that the goal is not for you to summarize your resume because the interviewer already has a copy. Instead, tell how you got to be interested in this particular company and job and weave examples of past accomplishments throughout to demonstrate why you are the perfect candidate.
Q. Why did you leave your last job?
A. The most important point to remember when answering this question is staying positive. It does not matter if your former boss was a burden or if you hated your coworkers, an interview is not the place for you to vent past frustrations.
The best way to answer this question is to talk about your desire for growth opportunities. This will paint you as a proactive employee who enjoys responsibility and challenges.
If you were fired, be honest but be quick about explaining it. Do not get into the political details rather explain what you learned from the experience and how it makes you an even stronger employee today.
It is not a good idea to lie about your termination because when the interviewer calls your references, he or she will most likely find out you were fired anyway. If you were laid off, do not apologize or act defeated, simply explain and remember to be precise.
If you quit, again be honest and stay positive. Just state that the work being offered was not challenging enough and that you are seeking higher levels of responsibility or simply that you are ready to make the next step on your career ladder and that the job for which you are interviewing is the ideal next step.
Q. What is your biggest weakness?
A. This question is popular with interviewers not because they want to torture you, but because they are interested in hearing how you tackle challenges. The most important thing to remember is that after you name your weakness, you must discuss what you have done to overcome it.
Usually pick a weakness that is real but understandable or relatively harmless. Whatever weakness you pick, be sure that it is work related. A weakness like I have a tendency of eating a lot is not an appropriate.
Alternatively, once in a while; I focus too much on the details of a project. So now, when I am working on a project, I always make sure at the end of the day sit back and take a few minutes about the general scope of my work. This enables me to keep priorities straight and helps me keep the right mindset.
Q. Do you have any questions for us?
A. You should always try to ask a thoughtful question at the end of an interview. It shows that you have been listening and done your research on the company.
For example does this job usually lead to other positions at the company? Avoid asking question about salary, vacation days or anything else that would make it look like you are more interested in the compensation package than the company.
Most important of all, do not forget to ask for the job! Say I am very interested in this job. It is exactly the kind of job that I am looking for, what is the next step in the interview process?
Writer is graduate student
at department of political science
Makerere University
Q. Tells us a little about yourself?
A. This question is not an invitation to talk about your difficult childhood or how you won class competition in high school. Instead, it is a request for you to describe what you can offer the company.
According to Ron Fry in his book 101 Great Answers to the Toughest Interview Questions, he suggests that interviewees need to focus on key accomplishments at previous jobs, the strengths demonstrated by those accomplishments and how they relate to the job for which they are applying.
He adds that the goal is not for you to summarize your resume because the interviewer already has a copy. Instead, tell how you got to be interested in this particular company and job and weave examples of past accomplishments throughout to demonstrate why you are the perfect candidate.
Q. Why did you leave your last job?
A. The most important point to remember when answering this question is staying positive. It does not matter if your former boss was a burden or if you hated your coworkers, an interview is not the place for you to vent past frustrations.
The best way to answer this question is to talk about your desire for growth opportunities. This will paint you as a proactive employee who enjoys responsibility and challenges.
If you were fired, be honest but be quick about explaining it. Do not get into the political details rather explain what you learned from the experience and how it makes you an even stronger employee today.
It is not a good idea to lie about your termination because when the interviewer calls your references, he or she will most likely find out you were fired anyway. If you were laid off, do not apologize or act defeated, simply explain and remember to be precise.
If you quit, again be honest and stay positive. Just state that the work being offered was not challenging enough and that you are seeking higher levels of responsibility or simply that you are ready to make the next step on your career ladder and that the job for which you are interviewing is the ideal next step.
Q. What is your biggest weakness?
A. This question is popular with interviewers not because they want to torture you, but because they are interested in hearing how you tackle challenges. The most important thing to remember is that after you name your weakness, you must discuss what you have done to overcome it.
Usually pick a weakness that is real but understandable or relatively harmless. Whatever weakness you pick, be sure that it is work related. A weakness like I have a tendency of eating a lot is not an appropriate.
Alternatively, once in a while; I focus too much on the details of a project. So now, when I am working on a project, I always make sure at the end of the day sit back and take a few minutes about the general scope of my work. This enables me to keep priorities straight and helps me keep the right mindset.
Q. Do you have any questions for us?
A. You should always try to ask a thoughtful question at the end of an interview. It shows that you have been listening and done your research on the company.
For example does this job usually lead to other positions at the company? Avoid asking question about salary, vacation days or anything else that would make it look like you are more interested in the compensation package than the company.
Most important of all, do not forget to ask for the job! Say I am very interested in this job. It is exactly the kind of job that I am looking for, what is the next step in the interview process?
Writer is graduate student
at department of political science
Makerere University
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